Its Time To Take A Break

Retirement Planning

If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00.

With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the original

$1,000.00.With WorldCom, you would have had less than $5.00 left.

But, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling REFUND, You would have had $214.00.

Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle. It's called the 401-Keg Plan! --------



Cars, Computers and What It Means To You

At a recent computer expo Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated

"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 mi/gal."

Recently General Motors addressed this comment by releasing the statement: " Yes, but would you want your car to crash twice a day?"
Not only that, but....

• Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car.
• Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.
• Occasionally, executing a maneuver would cause your car to stop and fail and you would have to re-install the engine. For some strange reason, you would accept this too.
• Y ou could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought "Car95" or "CarNT". But, then you would have to buy more seats.
• Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast, twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads.
• The Macintosh car owners would get expensive Microsoft upgrades to their cars, which would make their cars run much slower.
• The oil, gas and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general car default" warning light.
• New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
• The airbag system would say "are you sure?" before going off.
• If you were involved in a crash, you would have no idea what happened.

Bear Stearns, Jim Cramer, The Federal Reserve


The Dollar Crumbles Like a Cookie Made with Dirt